Sons and 'Sanskaars'

Thursday, June 17, 2010


We watched the movie ‘Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge?’ last week-end. The movie, though a comedy, provoked serious thoughts rather than laughter in me.


The storyline had an unexpected and uninvited guest, an elderly man, introducing himself as the ‘Chachaji’ (paternal uncle) to a young couple. The couple and their school going son loved their guest for a few days, but then started finding his eccentricities a big nuisance in their personal and professional life. ‘Chachaji’, however, ignored their inconvenience, and continued to stretch his stay with them. The lady of the house asked in frustration, “The deities like Ganpatiji and Durga Mataji come every year as guests in people’s houses, people celebrate their stay at their house, and after a few days bid them adieu requesting them to visit again the next year. Why doesn’t our guest understand the basics of guest-host relationship and goes back to his house to come again the next year?” ‘Chachaji’ overhears them, and finally decides to go.


As ‘Chachaji’ prepares to leave, the man of the house blames himself for his lack of patience and dearth of ‘Sanskaars’ for not being able to accommodate a father-figure in their household. He comments, “Parents look after their children and make them stand on their feet, but children find it a burden to take care of their parents in their old age.”


The thoughts that the movie inspired are as follows:


Parents bring about their children in the world through their conscious choice. Rearing and loving one’s progeny is the most basic instinct in not only humans but also lesser animals. But when the human child grows up, his love and respect for his old parents is determined mostly by the inputs that he got from his parents. Child is the most accurate reflection of the success as well as the failure of the parents. If a child fails to feel respect or sense of duty for his parents, the responsibility for it lies with the parents only.


In a fast changing world where the demands on people’s time and energy have increased manifold, it is imperative that the parents remain sensitive towards the pressures that their grown up children face in their personal and professional life, and instead of demanding respect for their old age, try to earn it for their wisdom and experience.


Modern society has started treating a daughter at par with a son. A girl, who enjoyed the same rights as her brother while growing up, feels equally dutiful towards her parents. In that scenario, for a married couple, the definition of ‘parents’ should include not only the boy’s parents but also the girl’s parents.