Thursday, June 17, 2010
We watched the movie ‘Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge?’ last week-end. The movie, though a comedy, provoked serious thoughts rather than laughter in me.
The storyline had an unexpected and uninvited guest, an elderly man, introducing himself as the ‘Chachaji’ (paternal uncle) to a young couple. The couple and their school going son loved their guest for a few days, but then started finding his eccentricities a big nuisance in their personal and professional life. ‘Chachaji’, however, ignored their inconvenience, and continued to stretch his stay with them. The lady of the house asked in frustration, “The deities like Ganpatiji and Durga Mataji come every year as guests in people’s houses, people celebrate their stay at their house, and after a few days bid them adieu requesting them to visit again the next year. Why doesn’t our guest understand the basics of guest-host relationship and goes back to his house to come again the next year?” ‘Chachaji’ overhears them, and finally decides to go.
As ‘Chachaji’ prepares to leave, the man of the house blames himself for his lack of patience and dearth of ‘Sanskaars’ for not being able to accommodate a father-figure in their household. He comments, “Parents look after their children and make them stand on their feet, but children find it a burden to take care of their parents in their old age.”
The thoughts that the movie inspired are as follows:
Parents bring about their children in the world through their conscious choice. Rearing and loving one’s progeny is the most basic instinct in not only humans but also lesser animals. But when the human child grows up, his love and respect for his old parents is determined mostly by the inputs that he got from his parents. Child is the most accurate reflection of the success as well as the failure of the parents. If a child fails to feel respect or sense of duty for his parents, the responsibility for it lies with the parents only.
In a fast changing world where the demands on people’s time and energy have increased manifold, it is imperative that the parents remain sensitive towards the pressures that their grown up children face in their personal and professional life, and instead of demanding respect for their old age, try to earn it for their wisdom and experience.
Modern society has started treating a daughter at par with a son. A girl, who enjoyed the same rights as her brother while growing up, feels equally dutiful towards her parents. In that scenario, for a married couple, the definition of ‘parents’ should include not only the boy’s parents but also the girl’s parents.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
The River and the Ocean
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Ek nadi se maine poocha, ithla ke chaldi kahan…
Sagar se milne ka uska jo sapna tha meri hi tarha piya
Our poets and philosophers have equated the relationship between a woman and a man with the relationship between a river and an ocean. We all know how rivers originate from icy glaciers, come frolicking down the mountains, dig deep into the plains while rushing incessantly towards its final destination…the ocean! The ocean thrives on the fresh water added to it by the river , and in turn, offers its water to the clouds that go back to divest their bounty over the glaciers. The entire creation depends on the love affair between the River and the Ocean!
I am forever on the lookout for the human counterparts of the Ocean and the River, and I did actually spot one such couple!
My husband was super-excited after talking with him for the first time. He said about him, “This man is a mine of ideas. He simply stormed my brain with myriad business schemes in just half an hour of telephonic conversation!”We visited his home, and saw a bundle of energy in him. Our daughter instantly got glued to his various tricks, and found a worthy playmate in him. His wife, in the later stages of pregnancy at that time, glowed with happiness and contentment. She was a curious mix of friendliness and reticence.
The next time I visited her after she had delivered her second son. She was looked after and fussed over by many family members. It was a big happy family spectacle. The most beautiful thing about this family was that they all had fond memories to share about each other, and all seemed eager to help in whatever way they could. She was full of praise for her mother-in-law for caring about her younger brother staying with her for his studies. It looked as if the entire existence in that household was soaked in the sunshine of love and care.
I could witness a full-fledged household thriving on the fruits of the love affair between him and her. His oceanic nature provided nourishment to everyone who came in contact with him, and he, in turn, got flourished by the sweet attentions that his wife showered upon him.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Law of Interdependence
Friday, June 11, 2010
The other day I was having a conversation with my hubby on the subject of creative people. Both of us agreed that being creative is the best way to be, and creativity has the power to not only add something new to the collective consciousness of people, but also reward the creator with pure joy and deep satisfaction. The twist to our conversation came when he questioned the role of those at the receiving end of the creative process - people who sit listening to the great singers; people who watch the great movies; people who admire the great works of art; people who watch the extreme talents unfold in the field of Sports; people who lap up every single word written by great authors… he asked if the quality of happiness derived by those who enjoy the fruits of others’ creativity was inferior to that relished by the creative people!
The answer probably lies in the understanding of the Law of Interdependence working everywhere in God’s creation.
The lowliest of lowly and the mightiest of mighty are useful in some way or the other. No single creature in this world can survive by either being entirely dependent, or being entirely independent. There is always a give and take of energy between two living things. Singing survives only when listening happens; Works of Art carry value only when admirers exist…there has to be a receptor for every transmitter!
If I cook and serve a great meal to a singer who just made my soul dance in ecstasy by his beautiful singing, I am being as creative an artist as that singer. I feel that each one of us can be creative by virtue of how we do a particular thing rather than what we do.
The other day I was having a conversation with my hubby on the subject of creative people. Both of us agreed that being creative is the best way to be, and creativity has the power to not only add something new to the collective consciousness of people, but also reward the creator with pure joy and deep satisfaction. The twist to our conversation came when he questioned the role of those at the receiving end of the creative process - people who sit listening to the great singers; people who watch the great movies; people who admire the great works of art; people who watch the extreme talents unfold in the field of Sports; people who lap up every single word written by great authors… he asked if the quality of happiness derived by those who enjoy the fruits of others’ creativity was inferior to that relished by the creative people!
The answer probably lies in the understanding of the Law of Interdependence working everywhere in God’s creation.
The lowliest of lowly and the mightiest of mighty are useful in some way or the other. No single creature in this world can survive by either being entirely dependent, or being entirely independent. There is always a give and take of energy between two living things. Singing survives only when listening happens; Works of Art carry value only when admirers exist…there has to be a receptor for every transmitter!
If I cook and serve a great meal to a singer who just made my soul dance in ecstasy by his beautiful singing, I am being as creative an artist as that singer. I feel that each one of us can be creative by virtue of how we do a particular thing rather than what we do.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Salman Khan - The Enigma
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Nothing ever could make me hate Salman. His indifferent performances in a string of look-alike movies; his mechanical showing-off of his body; his seemingly mindless squabbles with his fellow actors; his violently possessive nature; even his tragic involvement in a car accident – the weight of his negatives sure numbed my mind towards him, but still, I couldn’t bring myself to dislike him.
I had cried inconsolably with him in the movie Hum dil de chuke sanam, and knew from that moment that I was very similar to him. His conversation with his father’s spirit in the last scene of the movie broke open the floodgates of my lonely eyes, and I have since learnt the therapeutic use of crying out one’s deep-set hurts and loneliness.
I recently watched Veer, the brainchild of Salman, and could clearly understand the real person that he is behind the entrapping of super-stardom.
The following dialogues reflect the values that have shaped the consciousness of the man whose way of life and actions make him an enigma –
Princess Yashodhara asks Veer, “If you had to choose between your father and me, whom would you choose?”
Veer thinks for a moment and says, “I would choose the truth. My loyalty would be for the one who is truthful.”
Yashodhara then asks, “Everyone supports a just and truthful father, but when the father is wrong, should one support him or abandon him?”
Veer replies, “When the father is wrong, he should neither be supported nor abandoned. He should be helped to discover what is right.”
Salman, just like Veer, is a man who lives by Truth, Goodness, and Beauty (Satyam Shivam Sundaram). His values and his love for his family make him a very endearing human who is not a perfect person, but whose path to perfection is guided by the right virtues. May God bless him!
Nothing ever could make me hate Salman. His indifferent performances in a string of look-alike movies; his mechanical showing-off of his body; his seemingly mindless squabbles with his fellow actors; his violently possessive nature; even his tragic involvement in a car accident – the weight of his negatives sure numbed my mind towards him, but still, I couldn’t bring myself to dislike him.
I had cried inconsolably with him in the movie Hum dil de chuke sanam, and knew from that moment that I was very similar to him. His conversation with his father’s spirit in the last scene of the movie broke open the floodgates of my lonely eyes, and I have since learnt the therapeutic use of crying out one’s deep-set hurts and loneliness.
I recently watched Veer, the brainchild of Salman, and could clearly understand the real person that he is behind the entrapping of super-stardom.
The following dialogues reflect the values that have shaped the consciousness of the man whose way of life and actions make him an enigma –
Princess Yashodhara asks Veer, “If you had to choose between your father and me, whom would you choose?”
Veer thinks for a moment and says, “I would choose the truth. My loyalty would be for the one who is truthful.”
Yashodhara then asks, “Everyone supports a just and truthful father, but when the father is wrong, should one support him or abandon him?”
Veer replies, “When the father is wrong, he should neither be supported nor abandoned. He should be helped to discover what is right.”
Salman, just like Veer, is a man who lives by Truth, Goodness, and Beauty (Satyam Shivam Sundaram). His values and his love for his family make him a very endearing human who is not a perfect person, but whose path to perfection is guided by the right virtues. May God bless him!
Monday, May 10, 2010
In-Laws blues
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Today I had to be all ears to the woeful tales of one Mother-in-law and one Daughter-in-law; one tale-telling taking place during the pre-lunch hours and the other during the post-lunch hours.
Not long ago, it used to be difficult for me to listen to one party while maintaining a state of non-judgment and non-involvement. With studied objectivity in the matters of a highly volatile and combustible relationship between a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law, I have tried to understand the problems that generally infest this relationship, and dare to offer some solutions.
During a meeting once, someone mistakenly addressed Kasturba Gandhi as Gandhi ji’s mother. On realizing his mistake, he apologized to Gandhiji, who in turn said that Kasturba was then more like a mother to him than a wife. In old times, the saints used to bless the newlywed woman by saying that- I pray that you become the mother of ten sons, and then have your husband as your eleventh son. The meaning underlying this seemingly absurd statement was that the woman was blessed to have such deep bonding with her husband as grew stronger in love and weaker in lust with each passing year of their togetherness.
We can understand a mother’s insecurity over losing her son to another woman who becomes his lover, friend, wife, sister, and mother all at once. Another problem is about the shift of power over the household from the older woman to the younger woman. The generation gap, difference in cultures and level of education also add to the odds between the two women.
Having known the fundamental problems that this relationship comes with, it can be suggested that the younger woman, equipped with better education, financial freedom, and her man’s attentions tilted towards her, should try to be sensitive towards her mother-in-law and share with her happiness, laughter and good wishes to the best of her ability. The daughter-in-law of today would be the mother-in-law of tomorrow, and her good work today is sure to reap good return tomorrow. After all, that which goes out comes back!
Today I had to be all ears to the woeful tales of one Mother-in-law and one Daughter-in-law; one tale-telling taking place during the pre-lunch hours and the other during the post-lunch hours.
Not long ago, it used to be difficult for me to listen to one party while maintaining a state of non-judgment and non-involvement. With studied objectivity in the matters of a highly volatile and combustible relationship between a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law, I have tried to understand the problems that generally infest this relationship, and dare to offer some solutions.
During a meeting once, someone mistakenly addressed Kasturba Gandhi as Gandhi ji’s mother. On realizing his mistake, he apologized to Gandhiji, who in turn said that Kasturba was then more like a mother to him than a wife. In old times, the saints used to bless the newlywed woman by saying that- I pray that you become the mother of ten sons, and then have your husband as your eleventh son. The meaning underlying this seemingly absurd statement was that the woman was blessed to have such deep bonding with her husband as grew stronger in love and weaker in lust with each passing year of their togetherness.
We can understand a mother’s insecurity over losing her son to another woman who becomes his lover, friend, wife, sister, and mother all at once. Another problem is about the shift of power over the household from the older woman to the younger woman. The generation gap, difference in cultures and level of education also add to the odds between the two women.
Having known the fundamental problems that this relationship comes with, it can be suggested that the younger woman, equipped with better education, financial freedom, and her man’s attentions tilted towards her, should try to be sensitive towards her mother-in-law and share with her happiness, laughter and good wishes to the best of her ability. The daughter-in-law of today would be the mother-in-law of tomorrow, and her good work today is sure to reap good return tomorrow. After all, that which goes out comes back!
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